Saturday, June 18, 2011

shame, fear, doubt: the barriers to (necessary) human connection.

brené brown researched what it is that provokes shame and fear in our lives, and discovered that those two emotions have been two of the biggest barriers to connection in our lives. after watching this video, i started thinking about the connections i have in my life, from the big- like my connection to my vincent, my closest friends throughout the years like cheyb, harmony, lisa, jan; to the littlest connections: like jim, a regular at java.
every connection in my life has added a layer of value to my life, i don't believe i'd be who i am without the people in my life. but, it took me along time to understand that, because for so long- i didn't feel i deserved these connections. if you believe you aren't worthy, that someone isn't right or normal or okay with you, you hide behind the fear of being unloved. it boils down to the idea that we accept the love we think we deserve. 

if you want to understand the true depths (and powers) of your emotions, you have to allow yourself to feel those feelings. to really experience happiness, contentment, joy and the beauty of the world through the connection to others, we need to accept and trust and love ourselves, in every moment of our lives, (even if the truth is the hardest thing to feel). believing in who you are and understanding you do what you do because of what you value in that moment will change how you - the world- loves you.
if you have 20 minutes today, watch this lecture by dr. brown, a fascinatingly intelligent, passionate, and inspiring "researcher - story teller". 
if you let it, it will change your life.

1 comment:

  1. more on this topic, go to!