Friday, December 30, 2011

a gift she left us all..

as i got off work tonight, i pictured myself coming home, kicking off my boots, cleaning the house, drinking a beer, writing my grandparents a letter, and giving myself a pedicure. 
instead, for the last 2 hours i've been in the same position (with my boots still on) sitting in front of my computer.
this is what my reality is. 
tonight, however, something changed.
every so often, i go onto facebook and read the beautiful, tragic words written by the friends and family of danielle vacca. and every time, without fail, i am overcome with a sense of deep, piercing sadness harmonized with a quiet sense of inspiration. i find myself wiping the tears away, hours after i've read the messages... 
the words linger inside me as i picture the person she was through the image painted by the people who loved her the most.

i'm overwhelmed with an inspiration to be like her. i want to live life as fully devoted and as deeply as she did..

i feel as if we're given a chance to be something... to answer the calling inside of us.
we are given an opportunity, a chance that is destroyed only by our own fears and doubts.
if only we understood (myself included) that the only thing that is stopping us from becoming who we're meant to be is merely the ideas we create. we imagine failure, pain, or shame when, in all reality, the circumstances and opportunities are already available to us. all we have to do is open our eyes and trust ourselves and do what you feel is right.

i want my existence to matter. i want to help, and to change, and to build something i'm proud of. i'm ready to redefine what my reality is..

thank you, dani, for inspiring me to be half the amazing woman that you were, are, and continue to be.

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